


Binâzyungur

by thudworm



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Character, Demisexual Character, M/M, Post BoFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2048070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thudworm/pseuds/thudworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you"</p>
<p>How much can three small words do to change their relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Binâzyungur is the closest Khuzdul translation I could find/create to mean aromantic. Literal translation is 'without love', which isn't really an accurate way to refer to aromanticism, but it's the best I could do.
> 
> Written for Bofur/Nori day on tumblr.

“I love you”

Three little words. That’s all they were. Yet they had the power to change everything. Why did Bofur have to say them? Things had been fine the way they were, enjoying each other’s company, outside of the bedroom as well as in it. Sharing stories, pulling pranks on the other company members (especially on Dori and Ori), and spending most nights together, even when neither of them was particularly interested in doing anything more strenuous than sleeping. Nori wasn’t even sure exactly what this was between them, but he did know that love and romance weren’t something he could do. Hadn’t he made it clear to Bofur that that wasn’t what this was? That it was something this could never be?

Last night, they had headed to Bofur’s quarters after a fun night of drinking, spent regaling the patrons of the tavern with stories. Round after round of drinks had been bought for them, with the only payment required being another tale from the Quest. In the wee early hours of the morning they had finally stumbled home together, and found their way into bed. Nori recalled thinking that he could quite happily spend the rest of his life by Bofur’s side. 

But then in the morning it all went wrong. The way Bofur had looked at him this morning, like he thought Nori was more than all the gold in Erebor’s treasury. And then he said it. Those three words. Hadn’t he made it clear that that wasn’t what this was? Nori couldn’t stand to see the disappointed look on Bofur’s face when he didn’t hear those words repeated back to him. He knew that Bofur would do his best to hide the pain, but those expressive eyes of his would show it anyway. So Nori did what he was best at, and ran like a coward so he wouldn’t have to face up to his failure as a dwarf.

Due to his work as Thorin’s Spymaster Nori was always prepared with safe places to retreat to when it was unsafe to return home. They all were stocked with food that wouldn’t go bad, and a bedroll to give him something relatively comfortable to sleep on. He had always planned for them to be used when he needed to avoid leading trouble to his family and friends, or for when he was undercover, and couldn’t return home and blow his cover. Now it was with a very different purpose he was hiding now.

He was too ashamed to return to the quarters he shared with Dori and Ori when he wasn’t staying with Bofur. Both of his brothers liked Bofur a lot, both having formed a close friendship with the miner during the Quest, and they were both overjoyed when it became clear that there was more than just friendship between Bofur and Nori. Dori enjoyed having someone else around to mother hen, and one who would tolerate it good naturedly. Ori and Bofur could spend hours together discussing the history of their clans and comparing the differences each had recorded in the form of ballads. But now Nori had gone and ruined it, and he knew his brothers would finally see how undeserving he was of love from anyone. 

Nori knew it was his fault that things wouldn’t work between him and Bofur, or him and any other dwarf. Not that he wanted any dwarf other than Bofur, and he couldn’t stand the thought of Bofur being with anyone else either, despite it probably being the best thing for Bofur. He deserved someone better than Nori- a dwarf who couldn’t just be normal and fall in love with someone. Noru knew all this, but he was still selfish enough to want companionship, instead of just declaring himself to be a craft-wed dwarf like most who had no inclination to romantic attachments. 

It was with these thoughts running through his mind that Nori walked into the bathroom to relieve himself, and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror mounted on the wall. He was a mess. In his mad panic in the wake of Bofur’s declaration of love this morning he had bolted out the door in a rush, barely taking the time to put on enough clothes to be decent. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been crying, but the tear tracks down his face gave it away, along with his eyes, which were red and bloodshot. His hair and beard were in a frightful state, braids half undone, and tangled badly enough it would probably take him more than an hour’s worth of combing to detangle. But instead of beginning the arduous task of making himself slightly more presentable, he simply returned to the main room, laid down on the bedroll and began to sob.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left likes, kudos, and comments for this story so far. Having such a positive reaction to the first chapter is what's given me the motivation to get this chapter finished so quickly.

“I love you”  
He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it happened anyway. How could he not let it slip when just being around Nori made him so happy? For the first time in decades Bofur truly felt happy and content with his life. Apart from his brother and cousin not many people had ever been able to tell when he was unhappy, because of how well he hid behind the mask. Acting like nothing in the world could bother him became so much of an act, that he sometimes had even himself fooled. He never thought that true happiness would be something he’d experience, until he’d met Nori.

  
Their paths hadn’t crossed until they arrived in the Shire with all the members of the Company, and had ended up crushed at the bottom of a dwarf pile when they fell through the door to Bag End. At first Bofur hadn’t given a second thought to Nori, seeing him as just another member of the Company, but then they had struck up a friendship. It wasn’t until they were enjoying the hospitality of the elves in Rivendell that Bofur realised his thoughts were straying to Nori more and more often, and beyond what was typical for merely a friend.

  
At first Bofur ignored these new feelings, which proved to be not too difficult given the circumstances of the quest, spending a large portion of their time running and fighting for their lives against stone giants, orcs and wargs, and elves. But being locked in the dungeons of the Woodland Realm with only his own thoughts for company, however, made it impossible for him not to consider how he felt about Nori.  
A great many people would be surprised to discover, that despite his penchant for dirty limericks and tavern tales, Bofur was typically uninterested in seeking someone to share his bed. He didn’t begrudge anyone else their fun, and on the few occasions he had joined a good friend for a night together he most definitely enjoyed himself. He simply didn’t feel the inclination towards many people. But Nori was different. He considered whether or not to approach Nori about it, but before he could decide one way or the other Bilbo had appeared with the key to break them out.

  
Between dealing with the Men of Laketown, finding the door into Erebor, and searching for the Arkenstone, Bofur had no time to ponder his Nori dilemma any further. Then everything went to shit with the approaching armies of Men and Elves, plus Dain’s forces, until they were forced to cooperate following Gandalf’s news of impending doom with goblins and orcs bearing down on the mountain.

  
Somehow they and everyone else in the Company had escaped without permanent serious injury during the Battle of Five Armies, as it was being called. They all had an impressive collection of cuts and bruises to their name, which were the source of bragging and one-up-manship amongst some of them. Thorin had most of his ribs broken during his fight with Azog, and Fili had a taken slash to the face which would leave an impressive scar, making Kili jealous because he believed that it gave Fili an unfair advantage in their competition to be seen as more attractive than the other. Gloin had broken his arm in three places, and Ori had broken his leg quite badly leaving him confined to his bed for months, but no one had acquired any damage that would not heal as good as new, given time and following the directions of the healers. Bofur was well aware of how lucky they all were to be alive and in one piece, and had decided then to pursue a relationship with Nori, because life was too short for regrets and second guessing himself.

  
Last night, returning home together and drunk, Bofur was struck with the sudden realisation that he was in love with Nori. The thief had stolen his heart. But even in his drunken state Bofur knew better than to shout it out to the whole mountain that he was in love, despite how much it may have seemed like a good idea. This left Bofur wondering what went wrong in the morning to make him forget all good sense and speak of it.

  
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he could tell he had made a massive mistake. He should have known better. The look on Nori’s face, a moment of stunned shock, before the panic set in and he had run out the door, barely taking the time to put on clothes.

What in Mahal’s name had possessed him to confess he was in love? He knew Nori didn’t want that, wasn’t interested in that, but still, he had blurted it out. Maybe if he’d stopped to think for a second he would have realised how unwelcome it would be. Or he should at least have made it clear he wanted nothing to change between them, which would have been the next thing to say if Nori hadn’t bolted so quickly. Not that Bofur could blame him, it was a big surprise he dropped on an unsuspecting Nori, and one that was way outside the boundaries they had established for their relationship. If things had been the other way around, and Bofur had a lover unexpectedly declaring love he might have reacted in exactly the same way as Nori.

  
He knew he needed to do something to fix the mess he’d created. He could only wish for Nori to give him a chance to apologize, and maybe not hate him too much. Of course he had no idea where Nori might have fled to, other than an unlikely hope that he may have returned to the home he shared with his brothers. So, Bofur quickly got dressed, in such a rush that he almost forgot to grab his hat on his way out the door.

Even if Nori wasn’t with his brothers, Bofur would be able to leave a message with them begging for a chance to apologize and somehow make it up to him. He knew the Ri brothers were close to each other; Dori would probably have some advice to share with him about the best way to find Nori, and how to demonstrate how sorry he was.  
The twenty minutes it took to reach the Ri home seemed to take both no time at all, and far too long. As he knocked on the door Bofur was too lost in his thoughts at first to realise that it was not Dori or Ori, but Balin who opened the door.

“Hello there laddie, fine morning isn’t it?”

“Not exactly. Wait, Balin? What are you doing here?”

Balin’s only answer to that was to raise an eyebrow. Balin and Dori had not made a secret of the affection that had grown between them on the quest. Hearing voices at the door, Dori came over to greet Bofur.

“Good morning Bofur. How can I can be of service to you?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have seen Nori around this morning would you? I was sorta hoping it would be here he’d come, after we had a bit of a … disagreement.”

Bofur would have preferred not to discuss this with anyone, but it didn’t seem like Dori was willing to let it lie at just that.

“Why don’t you come inside and have a cup of tea, and you can tell me exactly what happened between the two of you. Knowing Nori, odds are it’s just as much on him as it is you if there’s a disagreement happening.”

“Not to be rude or nothing, but I’d rather find Nori first. He was quite upset when he bolted this morning, and I want to have the chance to apologise to him as soon as I can.”

Balin, who had been silently watching their conversation up til that point spoke up then.

“I doubt you’d be able to find him laddie, especially if he doesn’t want to be found. Dwalin probably has the best chance of finding him. He knows all his hiding places around the city, seeing as he helped Nori set most of them up.”

“Thank you Balin. Would you mind asking Dwalin to find him for me? And could you please tell him when he finds Nori to say that I’m sorry and just want the chance to apologise? After that I won’t expect anything more at all from him.”

Balin fixed Bofur with a pointed stare for a few moments before replying.

“Aye, I’ll pass the message along. I’m sure I’ll have some relevant insight to share with you once I hear the details. You can’t spend decades dealing with politics without learning some things about the nature of people and disagreements. Won’t take me more than a jiffy to speak to Dwalin, then I shall return.”

Watching Balin walking towards his own home, which he shared with Dwalin, Dori grabbed his arm to motion him inside. Not having the energy to disagree, Bofur had no choice left but to follow Dori inside, and prepare to spill his secrets to the pair of dwarves.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin has a chat with Nori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate that it's taken me a week to get this chapter out. Today was the first chance all week I've had to get any writing done (I seriously need to find a new job).

“I love you”

“Never thought I’d hear you of all dwarves saying that to me. Don’t think you can get me into that bed with you that easily.”

Not having noticed the sound of the door opening, or even the not so subtle stomp of dwarven boots meant that Nori was unprepared for the deep rumble of another’s voice. Visibly starting, Nori sat up and turned to look upon the intruder to his sanctuary.

“Fuck off Dwalin. I wasn’t talking to you, and you know it.”

“What’s going on with you and Bofur?” Much like in his fighting style, Dwalin preferred to take a direct approach to dealing with a problem whenever possible.

“Nothing.”

Bullshit. Normally you’re always aware of your surroundings, but just now You were so distracted in your own thoughts that you didn’t even notice when I wandered in here; and if it was nothing then Bofur wouldn’t have been knocking on your brothers’ door searching for you, and he wouldn’t have asked for me to pass on a message begging for the chance to apologise.”

“It’s none of your fucking business.” Nori snarled. “I’m not talking about this with you or anyone, so just piss off and leave me the fuck alone.”

“Look, I can’t force you to talk to me if you don’t want to. But I’m here for whatever you need. I’m willing to lend an ear, or offer you advice, or if you want me to go back and tell Bofur to make himself scarce I can do that for you too. Just let me help. You’re my friend, and I’d hope you consider me a friend too.”

Nori was puzzled to hear of _Bofur_ being the one to need to apologise. He was even more confused to hear Dwalin issuing threats, as though they were needed, or that Nori wouldn’t be more effective if they were necessary.

“Of course you’re my friend. Guess I might as well tell you what happened, seeing as they’ve gone and dragged you into it. What did you already hear about what’s going on?”

“All I know is what Balin said when he came banging on my door this morning. Said Bofur was looking for you cos he wanted to apologise, and didn’t know where to look other than with your brothers. Of course Balin offered my services as a ‘Nori finder’, so here I am. Got anywhere in this place for me to sit? I’d rather not subject my old bones to the ground any more than I have to.”

Nori snorted loudly at that, standing from the bed and leading the way into the small kitchen. Like the rest of the rest of the small apartment it was sparsely furnished, featuring a small table with only one chair. Pointing at the chair Nori told Dwalin to sit and rest his old bones, while he set about making a pot of tea. When Dwalin raised an eyebrow at that Nori answered with an eyebrow raise of his own.

“You have met my brother, yes? If he caught wind of me not offering tea before ‘engaging in heavy conversation topics’ he’d have my hide. Besides, it helps.”

Dwalin refrained from making any disparaging remarks about Dori- he preferred for his limbs to remain firmly attached to his body. He was also aware that his own brother would probably assist Dori over him, the pair having become nigh inseparable.

“Are you just looking for someone to listen to you, or do you want my advice?”

“Seriously, you giving relationship advice?”  Nori laughed. “That’s a good one. Didn’t know you’d ever had a relationship that lasted more than one night. Unless you’re counting the one you have with your own hand, that’s lasted decades.”

Dwalin looked around for something to throw at Nori, but there was nothing to hand. He settled for simply scowling in Nori’s direction.

“I’ve had Balin as my brother for my whole life. There’s no way not to have some of that diplomatic shit stick in your mind when it’s all you hear for decades. You gonna tell me what happened or not?”

“When I’m good and ready.”

Nori was forced to make do with the minimal range of objects present in the kitchen cupboards, and could only find two dramatically mismatched cups that weren’t broken or cracked. One was a delicate china cup, which would have matched Dori’s favourite tea set, with the other being a very large mug.  After giving Dwalin his mug of tea, Nori returned to the kitchen bench, and sat himself on the bench next to the teapot where he was easily able to refill his much smaller cup as he pleased. With a sigh, Nori began to speak.

“I don’t know why Bofur thinks he needs to apologise. I’m the one who stuffed this up, because I’m messed up. I’m not like normal dwarves. But I’m not like you either. I wish I could be, either way, but I’m not. And I hate myself for it.”

The last part was barely spoken above a whisper, but Dwalin still managed to hear it.

“What do you mean you’re not normal, but not like me? Should I be insulted you’re calling me not normal as well?”

“You’re craft-wed aren’t you? Happy enough being on your own, maybe with the occasional companion to share your bed. But I’m not like you; I need to have someone in my life. I don’t think I realised just how true that was, until I met Bofur. If I was capable of being in love with anyone it would be him.

“I… I would want to spend the rest of my life with him if he’d have me. I’m never as happy as when I’m with him. He’s everything to me. And then this morning he ruins it all by telling me he loves me. And I can’t give him that in return, so I panicked and ran and ended up here, alone.”

“Why’d you panic? I know how honest you are, for a thief at least, and I’m assuming you told him about yourself before you took up with him. I don’t see where the problem is if he’s fine with it. He knew what was up from the start”

Nori laughed at that, but it was a bitter laugh, devoid of any trace of humour.

“Last time I had a lover tell me they loved me it didn’t end well at all. I’m sure you remember what happened. You recall a dwarf named Gilrak?”

Dwalin was quiet for a moment, casting his mind back to recall the time living in Ered Luin.

“Now I remember. It was the only time I was able to catch you, and keep you in the cells for more than a few hours. Obviously Bofur is nothing like Gilrak though.”

“No, I know he’d never sell me out the way that cursed son of an orc did. But eventually he’ll get tired of putting up with me when I can’t give him what he wants. Someday soon he’ll leave me, and I don’t know how I’ll cope with that.”

Dwalin sighed, and decided to try another way to get through to Nori.

“Look- has he ever seemed unhappy with what you have between you before now? Has he ever given signs of wanting more, pushing for what he knows you can’t give? Cos it seems to me, from what I’ve heard, that all he’s done is voiced his own mind. And given how Balin described him looking to me he seems to know he’s done something he shouldn’t have.”

“How did Balin describe him?”

“Looking much like you do right now. Barely dressed properly, hair in a mess, though I don’t know how anyone can tell under that hat of his. Apparently he was desperate for the chance to apologise to you, didn’t seem to think he deserved more than that.”

Nori didn’t know how to respond to that news, so he said nothing, and simply sat unmoving on the bench top, wishing there was a way for everyone to simply forget this morning had ever happened, until Dwalin spoke again.

“As Captain of the Guard, I spend a lot of time around Thorin, and therefore Bilbo too. I end up hearing most of their disagreements, even when I’d rather not. Bilbo’s tiny, but he’s got a set of lungs on him to match Thorin when they really get going.”

“Is this story time now, or do you have a point to get to?” Nori interrupted.

“Don’t get your beard in a knot, I’m getting to it. One thing I’ve noticed from being forced to listen to their arguments is that it’s easy to react to what you _think_ the other person wants or has said, rather than taking the time to listen to what they actually want. I think you need to give Bofur a chance to apologise to you and to explain, if nothing else. Don’t go assuming the worst outcome, cos it’s more than likely you’ll cause it to happen.”

“You said Bofur went to my brothers’ place when he was trying to find me?”

Dwalin nodded, taken aback by the sudden change in Nori’s demeanour.

“That means Dori’s probably still got him, and depending on how the mood he’s in Dori is either mother henning him half to death, or scaring him half to death with polite threats for ‘upsetting’ me. Or, knowing Dori, he’s probably both at the same time. I need to go and rescue him.”

With that, Nori pushed himself down off the bench, and raced his way out the front door, leaving Dwalin to follow behind, and actually close the door after himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur has a chat with Dori and Balin. (And Ori too!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate how long it's taken for me to get this chapter done. It's been an ugh 2 weeks, and I'll aim not to take as long with the final chapter. 
> 
> Please excuse any typo type errors, it's almost 5am as I post this, because I wanted to get it out as soon as possible for you guys. I'll be re-proofreading it in the morning, once I've had some sleep.

“I love you”

At that Dori merely gave Bofur an eyebrow raise, and waited to hear the explanation.

“I told him that this morning. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did. That’s what made him bolt out the door like his arse was on fire.”

Still Dori didn’t say a word, merely making his way to the kitchen and busied himself with preparing a pot of tea while waiting for Balin to return from speaking with Dwalin. It was then that Ori called out to Dori, not wanting to be excluded from whatever was going on.

“Dori! If you’re not going to let me get out if this bed and walk around myself then you can come help me. I’m sick of being stuck in this bed with only my own thoughts for company. I can hear Bofur is here, let me talk with him.”

With a long suffering sigh Dori abandoned his tea preparations and made his way to Ori’s bedroom, leaving Bofur to remain standing awkwardly just inside the entryway. It was as Dori returned to the living area carrying Ori that Balin chose to make his reappearance.

“Now laddie, let’s go sit down, much more pleasant for discussing important matters.”

Resigning himself to having an audience of three to his woes Bofur followed Balin to the living area, where Dori was fussing over Ori, constantly adjusting and readjusting the cushions in place to support his still healing broken leg.

“Honestly Dori, it’s fine. You can stop fussing. My leg isn’t about to fall off if there aren’t enough pillows. Why don’t you go finish with that pot of tea I heard you making before?”

Glaring at the pile of cushions as though they had personally offended him, Dori turned to do just that. He returned shortly after with a fully laden tea tray, setting it down on the table, before taking his seat next to Balin. He gestured for Bofur to also sit, indicating the chair directly opposite where he and Balin were seated.

“Now, why don’t you start from the beginning and tell us what happened between you and Nori this morning?”

Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, Bofur began to explain.

“I messed up. Big time. I know that. Right from the start Nori told me he wasn’t the type of dwarf made to feel romantic love, even though he wasn’t craft-wed. He made it very clear that that wasn’t what our relationship would be, and I was fine with that. I still am fine with that, if he’s willing to still give me a chance.”

Bofur paused for a moment to take a drink of tea and to consider what to say next.

“I love him. I only really realised it last night, like taking a hit to the head from a pickaxe. And then this morning I blurted it out. That’s why he left, and I came looking for him straight after. I need to tell him I’m sorry I said it, since he obviously didn’t want to hear it. I want to tell him I don’t care if he doesn’t feel the same way; just being able to be around him is enough for me.”

Nobody said anything for several minutes following Bofur’s admission, all unsure of what to say. It was Dori who broke the uncomfortable silence.

“My brother is not the easiest dwarf to understand, and more often than not I have no clue what goes on in that mind of his. But I practically raised him, and there definitely are times I can read him like an open book. The changes I’ve seen in him since you two began whatever it is between you, as much as he might try to hide it, he has never been this happy.”

Ori earnestly nodded along with Dori’s words. “It’s true. I’ve never seen him like he is when he’s with you. When he thinks no one’s looking he smiles. A proper happy smile, not that fake smile he has when he wants to scare someone away.”

Despite the fear Bofur still carried of having caused irreparable damage to his relationship he couldn’t help but smile at hearing Dori and Ori’s words. “Thank you both. It means a great deal to me to hear that from you.”

“Like I said, I raised my brother and I know him well; at least as well as anyone can know that dwarf, considering his ridiculous penchant for keeping secrets.” Dori grumbled, more to himself than the other dwarves in the room. “I honestly was surprised to learn that the pair of you had more going on than merely a bit of companionship. Nori’s never said so in so many words, but it’s always been clear to me that he was not a dwarf created for loving a partner. However, what is a mystery to me is why he reacted, how did you describe it? ‘Like someone had set fire to his behind.’”

Nervously, Ori spoke up.

“Years ago, I think it have been was when I was about fifty, I can remember Nori sneaking back into our house through my bedroom window in the middle of the night. He was really drunk, and it seemed liked he’d been crying. Half of what he was saying made no sense to me, but he did keep telling me ‘never trust anyone who’s in love with you’. In the morning I tried asking him what happened, but he just told me to mind my own business, and to keep his advice in mind when I got older.”

 Balin, who had been silently listening until this point, made a small ‘hmm’ noise as he stroked his long white beard, a thoughtful look on his face. Realising he had drawn the attention of the three other dwarves in the room he reached forward to grab his cup of tea before sharing his thoughts.

“Ori’s tale just then reminded me of an experience at work Dwalin shared with me many years ago, and I’m wondering if it may in fact have been Nori he referred to. You said it occurred when you were fifty, lad?”

Ori nodded.

“Which was forty two years ago, if I’m not mistaken?”

Again Ori nodded. “Yes, Mister Balin.”

“Well then, it would seem to be far too much of coincidence for the tale Dwalin told me to be involving any other dwarf than our illustrious thief. It’s probably best I start at the beginning, is it not. As you are all aware, Dwalin was a Captain of the City Watch back in Ered Luin, and he took great pride in bringing in those criminals that no one else was able to apprehend. The most elusive lawbreaker he ever pursued was a thief, able to get into places it should have been impossible to steal from. This particular thief always was able to avoid detection despite his distinctive hairstyle, and I quote Dwalin here, ‘stupid pointy hair, and by Mahal’s balls who in their right mind braids their eyebrows?’”

Dori was unable to hide his amusement, and Bofur and Ori tried, but were unable, to restrain their laughter at Balin’s impersonation of his brother. Just when it seemed they had finished laughing one or the other would begin giggling like a dwarfling again, setting off the other. It took close to ten minutes before Balin was able to continue his telling of the story.

“Now, where was I? Oh yes, Dwalin was only ever able to bring the thief with enough evidence to keep him, on the one occasion, following information provided by a dwarf who turned out to be the former lover of the thief. During the questioning of the thief Dwalin asked what the thief had done to piss off his lover enough to warrant being turned in. The thief’s answer was one that Dwalin could sympathise with, being a craft-wed dwarf himself. He had done nothing to his lover, which was the problem. The lover, whose name I can’t for the life of me recall, had fallen in love with thief, who did not reciprocate those feelings.”

A sudden clattering could be heard coming from the direction of Ori’s bedroom. Muffled cursing followed soon after, before Nori calmly strolled into the living area, acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. He avoided looking on the direction of Bofur as he leant casually against the wall, and gestured casually in the direction of the front door. “Might want to open the door, brother dear, I have a feeling someone will be knocking any moment now.”

Dori rose from his seat, and sure enough, before he could reach the door someone began pounding on it. “No need for that, and if you’ve damaged my door you’ll be the one to fix it yourself.”

To the surprise of no one the dwarf responsible for assaulting Dori’s door was Dwalin, who seemed to be attempting to discreetly catch his breath. After following Dori into the living area he paid no attention to the dwarves still seated, instead focusing on Nori.

“What’s your secret? How in Mahal’s name were you able to beat me here? I left right behind you, yet you obviously somehow had enough time to change your clothes and fix up that ridiculous hairstyle of yours.” Pausing to take a few deep breathes before continuing, he pointed at Bofur. “Now you two are in the same room you’d better talk to each other properly and sort this out, or I’ll lock the pair of you in a room together til you work it out. And if that still doesn’t work I’ll start banging heads together.”

Neither Bofur nor Nori said a word following Dwalin’s rant, instead just staring at each other, both unwilling to be the first to break the silence and speak to the other.

The tension in the room was palpable. Dori was the first to act to relieve it.

“Ori, I do believe that Oin wanted to examine your leg again today, make sure that it’s healing as it should.”

Usually Ori would bemoan Dori’s overbearing concern for his leg, but he was just as eager to escape the tension that filled the room in the wake of Dwalin’s outburst.

“Yes Dori, I do remember him asking to see me again. I think it would be a good idea to go now, before he finds himself occupied with other patients as the day goes on.”

Without the slightest hint of strain Dori picked up Ori, being careful not to jostle his injured leg, and retreated from the room with all haste.

Following Dori’s lead, Balin grabbed hold of Dwalin by the sleeve and began tugging him in the direction of the exit. “Come along brother, we have important business to discuss with Thorin, and it would be best not to dally any longer.”

Bofur and Nori seemed not to even register the disappearance of the other dwarves, each focused solely on the other, both still unwilling to be the first to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur and Nori finally speak with each other

“I love you”

Bofur was the first to speak and break the uncomfortable silence. Nori flinched, almost imperceptibly, before schooling his face back into the impassive mask he had perfected through years of practice. Bofur noticed Nori’s reaction, but did not allow himself to stop speaking; he knew that this was the only chance he would have to salvage their relationship, or to have any hope of remaining at least friends if Nori decided they could no longer be together.

“I know I shouldn’t have said it in the first place, and I shouldn’t have said it again just now. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable by saying it, but it’s true. I’ll never say it to you again, if that’s what you want. If you even still want to be with me. Cos if you don’t then I understand. And if that’s the case I’d still want to be friends, but only if that’s okay with you. Wherever we go from here is up to you, I’ll follow your wishes. I know I fucked up, and I’ll make it up to you however I can. And I’m going to stop rambling now and give you a chance to speak.”

Nori was dumbfounded at Bofur being the one to apologise to him; he was at a loss for words, a rare occurrence for him. He had no idea of how to respond to Bofur’s declarations, so instead he sat down on the seat recently vacated by Dori, and gestured for Bofur to sit in the same chair he had occupied before. Taking a few moments to try and organise his thoughts, Nori slowly began to speak his mind.

“I don’t understand. I should be the one apologising to you. I’m the one who ran away like a dwarfling afraid to face their problems. You know I won’t- can’t- love you, so how can you love someone like me?”

Before Bofur had a chance to answer, Nori laughed bitterly.

“You don’t know half of the things I’ve done in my life, yet you’ve told me you don’t care about my past, you just care about me as I am now. I just don’t understand how you can want anything to do with me. I can’t love you like I wish I could. You deserve better than some criminal who can’t even love you back. More than anything I just wish I could love you. You are the best dwarf I’ve ever met, so… just so much damn goodness in you. If I was a better dwarf I would let you go so you can find someone who is worthy of your love, but I’m just too damn selfish to let that happen.”

At Nori’s words Bofur decided there was far too much distance between them for the conversation happening, and moved to sit beside Nori, taking the seat that Balin had occupied. Nori took Bofur’s change in seating as an invitation, and shifted position to be leaning against his side. Bofur wrapped his arm around Nori’s shoulder before speaking again.

“I know… Balin told me about a lover you had about forty years ago, which ended badly.”

Nori stiffened, but did not pull away from Bofur, at the mention of his past.

“Gilrak. The name of that _Rukhs mahumub_ was Gilrak. I got my revenge in the end though.”

“Aye, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m willing to listen if you do. Either way I know enough of what happened to be impressed with you now.”

Nori tried but failed to silence his snort of disbelief, which led to Bofur swatting him on the arm. Nori ignored it, and instead dropped his head down onto Bofur’s shoulder.

“Shush, you. Look, given what I know now, I completely understand your reaction this morning. And I am impressed with you, honestly. If I’d been through the same sort of thing then I doubt I’d be anywhere near as willing to try this whole relationship thing again.”

“I never planned to risk a repeat of the experience to be perfectly honest with you. But then you came along with that ridiculous hat and those stupid pigtail braids of yours, not to mention your sense of humour is just as filthy as mine, and I couldn’t resist no matter how much I might have wanted to. Not that I understand what you see in me.”

“Hey, look at me.”

Nori did as Bofur requested, lifting his head from where it rested on Bofur’s shoulder to look his partner in the eyes.

“Stop putting yourself down like that. You are an amazing dwarf, and I’m lucky to have you interested in me. There’s nothing special about me, I’m just a miner from a long line of miners. You were willing to travel half way across the world with a dragon waiting at the end, just for the sake of protecting your brothers. Not many dwarves are that loyal to their families.”

“Now, as I remember it, you were on that same journey to face down a dragon.”

“Aye, but I was just along cos I was told there’d be free beer at the end of it. That was enough to get me interested.”

Nori snorted in amusement at that, before leaning in to kiss Bofur. What was intended to be just a simple show of affection didn’t stay that way for long. It began as a mere brush of lips, but quickly became more. Lips moving together, Bofur suddenly found himself with an occupied lap, Nori having shifted from sitting beside him to sitting on him. Eventually Bofur was the one to break the kiss, panting slightly.

“I mentioned it before, but you never quite answered me. Do you want me to avoid saying that I love you? Because I definitely do, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by saying it if you’d prefer I didn’t.”

Nori returned to resting his head on Bofur’s shoulder before answering.

“I… I think I’m okay with it. Because I know you don’t expect anything in return from me I can’t give. If I change my mind about being fine with it I’ll tell you, but please don’t be angry if that happens. Though I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to be with me anymore if that happened, I still don’t get why you’re willing to be with me.”

“I understand better than you might think that feeling of not being good enough for your partner. I’m an unusual dwarf too, but in a different way to you though. I’ve had a fair few potential partners turn away from me because of it. I’m not typically one to go looking for a bit of company in my bed, the inclination to find someone and ask just doesn’t really occur to me. When it does happen, it’s usually with a dwarf I consider a close friend, which is fine by me, most of the time I have no issue just taking care of matters on my lonesome. The problem comes when I find someone I might be interested in for partnership, but I can’t guarantee being interested in them for anything more exciting than some kissing. If it’s going to happen it takes time, and even then it might not. And most weren’t willing to ‘waste their time’ with someone who wasn’t necessarily give them what they’re after.”

 “We make a fine pair then, don’t we? Ending up together cos no one else wants us.”

Bofur chuckled at that, until Nori moved in again to continue kissing him. Bofur kissed back eagerly for several minutes, before breaking the kiss again.

“I don’t know how soon your brothers will be returning. Maybe it’s for the best if we go somewhere else to continue this. I’d rather Dori didn’t walk in on me with my hands all over you.”

Nori grumbled slightly at that.

“Dori could do with being scandalised; it’s been far too long since I had him really worked up and off on one of his rants. Ori probably wouldn’t thank me for it though; Dori’s mother hen mode gets really over the top for a while afterwards. He’s been bad enough lately, I honestly don’t know how he’s managed to put up with it so well for so long.”

“Well, since it seems like we’re in agreement that this is a bad place to get carried away, I would suggest me make a move back to my place. I want to do more than just tell you how much I love you; I think we could have more fun if I was to show you.”

“Well, what are we waiting for, then?”

With a suggestive waggle of his braided eyebrows Nori was up and out the door in a flash, leaving Bofur to follow behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here at the end, finally! I'd just like to thank everyone for reading and all of the comments, kudos, and likes, it means a lot to me. As I've mentioned before this story was a way for me to work through some of the stuff I have going on in my life, so the support really does mean more to me than I can adequately express.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece of fanfic I've ever written, so I'm quite nervous about it. Any feedback people are willing to provide would be greatly appreciated, either in the comments here, or on my [tumblr](http://www.thudworm.tumblr.com).
> 
> There is not enough fic featuring aromantic characters, so I've decided to something about it myself, because representation is important. I'm aware that not many people have an understanding of what it's like to be aro, so I'm happy to answer questions people have.


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